I have an obsessive personality. Only mild, but it's still there. It's in the way I either do something or I don't. It's in the way I learn everything about a subject that interests me and have to force myself to learn about something that doesn't. I think it's why I got such great marks in Criminal and Torts law, but not in Constitutional law. It's the reason I know the lyrics to so many songs, from so many genres, and so many decades. (It's also why I have so many songs on my itunes that I have to cull my playlist everytime I change my ipod settings, but that's a different post).
It's the reason don't count calories. It's the reason why I never will. 'I've eaten 1600 cals but I've exercised off 600, so I need to eat 200 more so my body doesn't go into starvation mode' is something that will never come out of my mouth (or be typed by my hands). It would be so easy for me to fall into the obsessive calorie counting cycle and the pitfalls and dangers that come with that.
Now, I'm not saying don't ever count calories. It's a great starting point for those wanting to lose weight, especially for those who have no idea about that they're eating. But it won't work for me.
Why?
It takes the fun out of things. I like food. I say all the time that I could never be anorexic because of that simple fact. Food is not the enemy. It's something to be enjoyed. Food is to be looked at as fuel for your body. I don't eat it continuously, and I generally only eat when I'm hungry. I only overeat when there's something like a random movie night with friends I haven't seen for a while, or a birthday or family/friends get together. Things like family BBQ's when the home cooked comfort foods like mum's potato bake, and my aunt's fried rice, come out. Things that we don't get very often becuase they're really not that good for you. (my mum's potato bake includes potatoes, diced bacon, cream, 3 cheese sauce mix, and a layer of melted cheese on top. I have a very, very large extended family and 90% of them know how to cook so there's always great food on these occassions).
I do occassionally read the nutrition labels on the back of things. I know that there's 6 teaspoons of sugar in a can of Coke, and I know there's just as many in a glass of apple juice. I know what your body needs and why it craves things at certain times. I know that a serving size and what they put in a packet are 2 different things.
BUT...
I don't worry that I ate a chocolate bar, or a small packet of potato chips at work during my breatk. I am on my feet for anything up to 10 hours a day. My job is physical. It involes a lot of bending, twisting, pushing, pulling, reaching etc. I generally don't eat those sorts of things on my (very rare) day's off and I usually get soem sort of 'other' planned exercise in on my working days anyway.
I can stop at one piece of birthday cake. I only drink alcohol on occassions. I don't eat alot of desserty things. I don't eat cheesecakes, or pavlova (a travesty in Australia I know). I don't like custard (which rules out a lot of things), and I don't like caramel (which narrows the dessert field even more). I'm a person with fairly simple tastes in food. I like chocolate (and almost anything chocolate flavoured), I will pick salt & vinegar potato chips over pretty much anything else, I'm not a huge fan of creamy foods so I'll pick something like spaghetti bolognaise over something like a carbonara pasta. I prefer to season my foods with herbs and spices thatn with soy sauce or fish sauce. I don't add salt or salty sauces to anything I eat (unless the recipe calls for it) and I don't eat butter or margarine.
Actually margarine is one of those 'I do it or don't' situations. I was 8 and one morning (at my Grandmother's) I woke up and decided I wouldn't eat it anymore. I have no idea why. I ate my toast without it that morning and I haven't eaten it since. The only exclusion is with vegemite on toast. Just a little to soften the bread and that's it. I can't eat it on anything else. I specifically ask for sandwiches made without it, and if I forget and they use it, I can't eat it.
I was taught, at an early age, that certain things happen at certain times of the year when it comes to food. Things like the stone fruit I love so much (like the plums that we used to pick from the tree in our nextdoor neighbours yard, nectarines and peaches) are a summer thing and to savour them when I can get them. That the oranges are a winter thing, just like when we play netball. Things like my mum's salmon rissoles are made for Good Friday because we don't eat meat that day. So, the salmon rissoles became something special, something to look forward to. (I now know how to make them, and do, but they're never as good as mum's). My sister and I always got chocolate eggs for Easter. We always got a bit but the best part was that we always got 1 bunny. A Red Tulip bunny. One that stands up, and is hollow on the inside. It was the highlight of the Easter weekend. It didn't really matter what other chocolate we got, or how much, it was the rabbit that was the part we looked forward to. It was the bunny that was eaten last, after everything else was gone. And mine always lasted longer than my sister's. She eats what's in sight. I can resist. Even now, when my sister and I can choose between money or chocolate, we always have to think about it. Because the easter chocolates only come out once a year (even though it's out for longer, we still don't eat it until Easter), it's still something special.
It's like the bon bon candy that my Grandmother has in her house at Christmas. It's the Christmas fruit cake and the pudding my aunt makes (different to the one that makes the rice, other side of the family). They're things that only happen at that special time, so that makes them even more special.
It's why I don't calorie count. Who wants to know the calorie content of evey bite of a chocolate bunny they eat, when they only eat it once? Who wants to know how long in the gym it's going to take to burn off the mound of potato bake you ate at your sister's birthday dinner? Who wants to agonise over whether to have a piece of their own birthday cake because it's chocolate mud cake with chocolate ganash icing, and cream in the middle? Not me. I'd much rather think 'I over indulged over the weekend, so I'll just eat healthier this week and exercise a little more to make up for it. But it was a great weekend.' Doesn't that seem a little healthier than obsessing over every morsel you put in your mouth?
Life is to be celebrated. Things like proposals, and weddings, graduations, and new jobs, moves and children, birthdays and anniversaries. Even commiserations like funerals and the end of a relationship. These things in life are important. They are to be celebrated with good food, drink, and laughter. With fun times and friends. Not with being worried about whether that scoop of ice cream, or that last maragrita will follow you on your thighs for the next week. Life is to be enjoyed.
One of the goals of this blog is to show my journey on the road to being healthier and fitter than I am now. That includes mental health, and, for me, calorie counting is not conductive to that. As a psychology student, I have studied obsessive disorders, as well as eating and exercise disorders, and they wreck so much havoc on the lives of the individuals who battle these diseases, as well as their families and friends that, to me, it just doesn't seem worth it.
Ok, moving on...
It's been over a week since I updated here. It's a bad thing. Life kind of got away from me.
I've been working crazy hours. There's days when there's been only 10 hours between when I clock out and when I come back the next morning. I've been going from nights to mornings and back. Every day I go to work I get asked to stay late, or come in early the next day, or come in on my days off. It's driving me up the wall. It's screwing with my sleep schedule, it's screwing with my exercise (or lack of) and with just about everything else.
Last week started out well in terms of nutrition. I was eating well. Until Thursday when it all went out the window, and then down the drain. I feel flat and unmotivated and just essentially yuck. And when my nutrition suffers so does my exercise. I have done barely anything. On Thursday I went to the pool. I swam for about 30 minutes. The Friday before (the day after my last post) I went to they gym after I finished work. I came home at 8pm, watched the end of Biggest Loser, got changed, and hit the gym for 30 minutes of cardio. May have been a bad idea.
I slept in on the Friday morning. I was planning on getting up early and going to the gym, but I valued my sleep more. I worked a 10 hour shift that day, 10am - 8pm. I was tired when I got home but I knew I wouldn't sleep. So I did something productive. I went to the gym. I did 20 minutes of running intervals on the treadmill. Then I did 5 minutes of intervals on the rower. When I went to stand up, I nearly fell over, my legs were like jelly. I did a 5 minute cooldown on the eliptical and then went home.
That's all I've done this week. Until today...
Today I went for a run. Well, run/walk. From my house, past the netball courts, and back towards the primary school I used to attend many years ago. (They've fenced it off properly now so I can't get in to take advantage of their open grassed area or their stairs). Then through the reserve, and back to my place. Takes about 45 minutes. Longer if I follow the path through the reserve I normally take rather than the shortened version I took today.
I love to run. The burn in my legs, the feel of moving myself across the ground, the breathlessness that comes with a good, hard, long run. It's been a while since I ran outside. Since I did any real physical activity outside. Even the swimming pool is indoor now (it's a 25m heated pool, the 50m Olympic size one has been shut for the winter season).
It's a different feeling when you run outside. It's just... more. It's more of a burn in your legs (my calf muscles especially). It's more invigorating than running on a treadmill. I don't know if it's the wind in your face, the fresh air, the scenery, the noises or what. It's more of an effort to get from point A to point B without the help of that little black belt that helps move your feet. It's more of a calorie burn. It's different, and for me personally, it's better.
Any sort of outdoor exercise is better for me. I work inside, in an air conditioned workplace. With no windows to see the outside world, just bright lights, and cold coolrooms. To be outside, in the natural environment is better for my mental health. There's nothing worse that getting up before the sun is up, going home mid afternoon, and not takign advantage of the sun. Autumn has started now, so the days are getting shorter. It's now dark when I get up at 4am to start work. It's dark at 7pm. If I finish at 3pm, I get only 4 hours at most with the sun. If i work 7-5/6, I barely need my sunglasses for the drive home, and definitely don't need them for the drive to work.
Tomorrow is Monday. I don't know why but that always seems like I good day to start anything new.
So, the plan for this week... (part of my obsessiveness is my continual need to write and tick things off, to do lists):
*Get an outdoor workout at least twice this week. It can be a run, it can be interval training, it can be an outdoor strenght workout. Anything. As long as it lasts at least 30 minutes and is outside! (Weather permirtting. It's rained all over the State this last week except for here. And there are rain clouds outside now.)
* Drink 2lt of water every day. This is normally not so bad, but with the cooler weather coming in, it's getting harder to do.
*Get a strength training workout in 3 times this week. Easy. I think.
*Get my nutrition back on track. I just feel better when I eat better. Especially when I cut out my carbs of a night. It's just a personal thing.
Have fun
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