USA

I apologise profusely for the length of time this blog has sat not being updated. I really don’t have an excuse. Except lack of time really. I had a blog written just after Easter, but my internet was not in a good mood and crashed, taking my latest entry with it.

I am currently writing this from a plane on my way from Sydney to LA. That’s right; I’m flying to Los Angeles. I am embarking on my first actual holiday since I was 15. That’s the age I was when I started working. Since then, I have juggled working with, firstly school, then university. Every school break was spent working.  But, didn’t I spend 3 months in the US, just a little over 2 years ago? Yes, yes, I did. But, I worked the entire time (give or take a week). So, you see, I really haven’t had a vacation in a long time. So, now I am embarking on a 5 week USA holiday, Contiki style.  Should be a lot of fun.

But, back to the blog. About health and fitness. Mental, physical and emotional.

It feels strange to be writing about health and fitness when I currently have a cold. Yes, you read that right, I have a cold. Not a very severe one. Not even one where I feel like coughing up a lung. No, just one of those annoying ones where my throat hurts in cold weather, and first thing of a morning, and my nose is rather stuffed of a morning. That sort of cold. Thank god I’m heading to warmer climates.

I have a friend from work, M, who I think is the sort of friend everyone should have. She’s the type of friend to knock on your front door as she walks in. She’s the type to turn up unexpectedly. She’s the one who will phone and say ‘a movie starts in 30 minutes, do you want to go?’ She’s also the type of friend who will hit you over the head if he thinks you are being ridiculous.

Comparing myself to anyone and that if I do I’m stupid. She told me other things too, but they really aren’t fit to post here. But see what I mean about everyone needing a friend like her? Thought so. I really believe that we all need a friend to give us a reality check when we get like that.

Which leads me to what my deleted post was about: comparing ourselves to others and how that impacts on our mental health.

The next time you compare yourself to others, be it that you think you look better or worse than the person you are comparing yourself to, think about how you feel, mentally, about yourself.

I have been trying to do that over these last few weeks, and I’ve noticed some things.

Firstly: I compare myself more often than I think I do. Even something as simple as ‘she has the same shoes as me’.

Secondly: Who I compare myself to, and whether it’s in a negative or positive light, is dependent on what my mood is like. If I’m in a negative mood, I tend to compare myself in a negative way, and find very thin people to compare myself too. Things like ‘she’s so much thinner than I am,’ and the like. On the flip side of things, if I’m in a positive mood, I tend to compare myself in a much more favourable light. More like ‘She’s so thin, but I’m glad I’m not quite that small,” etc. I compare myself to make myself feel better or worse, depending on whether I’m in a good or bad mood.

Thirdly: comparing myself to people makes me more aware of what I want, in life, for my body, in looks etc. I want to be thinner (an Aus size 10), so I compare myself to people who are that size or smaller. I want to move out of home, so I compare myself to people around my age who are already out of home. I wish I hadn’t dyed my hair blonde a few years ago, which in turn made a lot of it fall out, so I am envious of people with thick hair like I used to have.

Essentially, I am comparing myself to people who have what I want.

This is not always a bad thing. It can drive you to try harder to get the things you want, give you focus when you start to stray. Just remember to use them as motivation, and not just as the end goal. It’s all about remembering that everyone is different, and that what works for someone who has what you want, or what you think you want, may not actually work for you, or in reality, may not be what you actually want or need at all.

Take the time over the next week or so, to notice who you compare yourself to, and in what light. Think about how you feel about yourself when you compare, and after you’ve done it. Then think about why you’re comparing in the first place. Are you jealous? Do you want what they have? Or is there some other reason?

I’m going to kick back and watch a movie now. Then maybe try and sleep a little before I land. Got my bottle of water, my lollies, and my ipod. I’m all set.

Enjoy your week. I know I will.

Dxo

I'm Back!!!

Apologies for the lack of posts recently. With the completely odd hours at work, the Easter break, and my sister being back at home, blogging time dwindled to nothing. Not that I'm making excuses, I'm not. But, as it seems to do, life gets away from you.

Just a quick little note to tell you all that I'm still alive. I made it to the gym last week... twice. I even took my mum with me once. And I worked out over the Easter weekend too. I overdid it with the chocolate (surprisingly, not until after Easter had passed), but I didn't, and still don't, feel guilty.

See, I can work on this mental health thing too.

Firstly, I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday period, not matter what you celebrated. I hope you all had a wonderful time, and for the Aussie's, I hope you, like me, enjoyed your 5 day long weekend (even though I worked 3 of 5 days.)

Secondly, I hope that any readers in North America are all safe and well, and that, if you do live in the areas that are being battered by the tornados, that you and your families are all safe and healthy. Mother Nature is really being destructive this year isn't she?

In keeping with the mental health train of thought, everyone should have a friends like M in their lives. As I have said before, I generally don't compare myself to other women. They aren't me and I'm not them. We don't have the same live, situations, or experiences.

But, the other day M and I were talking about bodies, and how we feel about them etc, and I said that that particular day I felt fat. As you do. I was bloated, and I felt horrible and huge, and just yuck. I also happened to mention that one of the girls who is coming on the tour of the US with me is a (Aus) size 8 model, and it makes me feel just that little more self conscious about how I look.

I thought she was going to hit me. She ranted and raved about how you don't compare yourself to anyone else. EVER! She went on to list reasons and do a little more ranting and raving. Then she proceded to tell me that if she ever heard me talking like that again she was going to thump me. Hard.

I got such a giggle out of that.

Everyone needs someone like her to bring you back down to earth when your thinking gets out of hand.

Like I said, I normally don't, but every so often we can't help ourselves, and we compare ourselves to everyone we see. Whether tha person be a famous actress/songer/model on the cover of some glossy magazine, fitness people and athletes we see out exercising, or just the random person on the street. We compare ourselves to people, both big and small, and we do it depending on our moods.

Try this...

The next time you are feeling good about how you look, take a look at who you compare yourself with and why. I know I always compare myself to those larger people I see in the supermarket who are buying bags of lollies, chocolate, and chips. It makes me feel better about myself. I do it even though I know that, rationally, they could be buying those things for their child's birthday party, and that, more than likely, they aren't going to go home and stuff themselves full of junk food.

The reverse is true too. When you are feeling low about how you look, who do you compare yourself to? Id it the opposite to who you compare yourself to when you feel good? I always end up comparing myself to those stick thin people I see. Those people I see in skinny jeans with very thin legs (something I know I will never have, it's just not my body shape) or those who have clearly been doing some sort of exercise and who are buying fresh fruit and vegetables. It always makes me feel like I am less of a person.

And when I realise I'm doing this I always feel terrible. Terrible for judging people I know nothing about. Terrible for thinking that what I see in magazines is actually, 100% real. But most of all, I feel terrible about criticizing myself. Because really... that's what we're doing when we're comparing ourselves. We are picking what we feel bad about with ourselves and projecting it onto someone else, so we can bag them out and not ourselves. At least not consciously.

The next time you find youself doing, work out what you're trying to discover about yourself. When I criticise people who are running around in exercise clothes, it's usually when I feel guilty because I haven't been. When I 'hate' someone for having thin legs, it's really because I know I will never have them outside of liposuction and surgery (like I said before, it's all genetics) and will never get to wear tiny shorts.

So there you have it.

The next time you criticise someone think about why you're doing it. Think about how you feel, and if what you're criticising is actually your insecurities coming to the surface, to be directed at somone else.