It amazes me how negative we, as a society, are to, not only the people around us, but the world in general.
Working in a supermarket (hopefully not for much longer), I'm regularly bombarded with the negativity society breeds. Everything from the headlines on the glossy magazines touting break ups and cheating, to how to lose weight, and feel good about yourself; parents talking down to, or at their children instead of just to them; to the bitching that occurs between collegues about other collegues (which is normal to some extent) or just general bitching.
Even in the news it's always one person blaming another for something. Particularly politics. One party says something about the other, the second one retaliates. Some days it's like watching a tennis match, heads twisting back and forth as insults are slung from one side of the fence to the other.
Looking at all this, is it really any wonder that young people in particular are so depressed. One week you are told something is good, the next it's bad for you. One week your favourite celebrity is too skinny, the next they've put on weight and are starting a diet.
There's no middle ground. It seems that we, as a society, aren't happy unless we are tearing someone down. There must be something to pick at. Is it any wonder people have low self esteem, eating disorders, exercise disorders etc? No-one seems to be happy to be 'just average' anymore. What's wrong with being the average size? Or not having an opinion one way or the other on a topic you're not interested in? (The only occassion this bothers me is when I have a conversation with someone who seems to have no opinon in anything!)
Thanks to having stumbled upon these wonderful blogs I am really taking a good look at myself, and what I say and think. Not only do we need to be careful of what we say and how we say it to other people, (I am regularly told to lose the lecturing tone of voice I seem to naturally adopt when I'm talking about something I'm passionate about. I'm working on it), it's just as important to take a look at what we say, and even more importantly (in my opinion), those thoughts that don't get spoken aloud, about ourselves.
Think about this for a minute...
How many thoughts a day do you have about yourself that are negative in nature? 3 or 4? Maybe 10 or 11? I'm not just talking big thoughts that are easy to catch like "I'm fat and ugly. Nothing's going to look good on me!" (I have had this internal thought in many a dressing room with unflattering lights and mirrors). How about simple things like "I can't", Or "It wont work"? How many times have you internalised a conversation about yourself/other people after someone's said something nasty to you or criticised you?
It's these thoughts, things that seem small and inconsequential that do the most damage. Simple remarks you make to yourself about you and those around you that can affect you more than you think.
How many times have you had something 'bad' happen in the morning and it ruins the rest of the day for you? Maybe you spilt your coffee over your morning newspaper. Maybe you slept in and are late for work. Maybe you got stuck in traffic. Do you think in these situations "the rest of the day is going to be just as bad now"? And when you think something like this, does this actually occur?
I know it does for me. Days I wake up and something goes wrong, if I think "the day's just going to be like this now isn't it?" the rest of the day follows the morning's patterns. If I can laugh it off, find something good out of it (even if it's just the excuse to sing along with the music in my car when I'm stuck in traffic), I find that the rest of the day isn't as bad as it could have been.
It's similar to going into new situations and expecting disaster and then getting it.
The way you think, tends to be thrown back at you in actions. If you are sad/unhappy/angry etc, the world will work with that mood and keep you there. If you're happy, same thing.
Of course, bad things happen to people who are eternally optimistic. Good things happen to perpetually angry/sad people.
The difference..?
The way they look at the world. If you are optimistic/happy etc, and you get hit with a hurdle of some sort, you don't look at it like it's the end of the world. You don't let it ruin your day/month/year. You don't dwell on it. You tackle the problem, and move on with your day/week/month etc.
Example:
A few years ago my Grandmother (who is now 70) had a hip replacement. She is one of the mentally strongest, stubborn, people I know. The week before she had her hip done, another lady had her's done. She was telling my Grandmother about all the things she struggled to do, and how hard a time she was having of it.
Now, my Grandmother lives alone. She has done for many, many years (with the exception of her Grandkids coming to visit, and sometimes stay). She knew she couldn't afford to lay around feeling sorry for herself for weeks on end, while she waited to fully heal.
She only ever used a walking stick type thing. No crutches or anything of the type for her. When she found she couldn't bend over to pick things up off the ground, she bought herself a grabby thing that could do it for her. She found ways to do her washing and get it from the washing machine to the clothes line in her backyard, hang it out, and get it in again. She found ways to do anything she had to do.
She was told she was not to drive for 6 weeks after her surgery. 4 weeks after the op, she drove herself to my aunt's place so my aunt could drive her to the doctors for her check up. Just so her doctor didn't know she was driving so soon after the op.
After 4 weeks she was walking about 5km (3 miles) everyday or there abouts. She wasn't actually supposed to, but she felt well enough to do it, and she did it at a pace that suited her. She didn't push herself, but she didn't lay about feeling sorry for herself either.
The other woman? The one who lamented about how hard it was? Was still finding it hard to walk after 4 weeks.
Then, last year, she was diagnosed with Gall stones, and she had to have her gall bladder removed. She woke up in incredible pain in October. She was told not to eat fatty things, it would just irritate the stones, and put her back in a world of pain. She got her gall bladder removed in March.
In 5 months she rarely ate anything with fat in it. She was very sensible in what she ate. Not thinking about it. No but I really like ice cream/chocolate etc for her. No I'll have it once a week. Just I can't eat it now so I wont. She said that she would rather have 3 children naturally, one after the other, than go through that again. She also lost 11kg (or there abouts) as a bonus. She can now wear her engagement and eternity rings again.
My point..?
If you put your mind to it, you can do or be anything. It all comes back to your thoughts, and thought patterns. If you put out negative energy into the world, you'll get negative energy back. If you're a happy, bright person, you'll get good things come to you. I'm nat saying that good, happy, vibrant people don't have negative things happen in their lives, we all have things we have to face and overcome, but they deal with them in a way that is totally different to those who are negative. If you're someone who has no direction, no idea of where they want to go and what they want to do, you tend to flounder and just keep doing the same thing over and over again.
After reading through those wonderful blogs I mentioned earlier, I'm vowing to take action on my thinking.
I vow to be careful with what I think/say. I vow to stop any negative thoughts in their tracks, and any I miss I vow to amend with something positive.
Look at this post of inspiring words. They might just help get you started on your journey to bringing more positivity into your life.
What mantras do you live by?
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