Oh Boy. Time Moves Too Fast

Does anyone else feel like the world is moving too fast, and they can't seem to catch up? Like, maybe they're standing still while the world moves on around them? Or maybe the world is on super speed and you're stuck in mud or quicksand, and the harder you try to catch up, the more stuck you get?

Yes? No?

That's me at the moment. The harder I try to do everything I need to get done, the less I feel I get done. I tick off 1 or 2 things on my 'to do' list, and add another 10 or 15. It's never ending. School, work, things to do at home, money issues, friends.... the list is endless.

Take school for example. I opened my latest Chemistry quiz on Thursday, to give myself plenty of time to tackle the questions and get a good understanding on them before I answer them because they involve a lot of pen and paper working out. I opened it just now to answer and submit the questions to find that my time has expired and I get a 0 for this quiz. I tried to submit my online assignment on Thursday (1 day late) to find out that for Chemistry (the only class I've ever heard of doing this) you can't submit it after the due date. So that's two big fat 0's I get for this unit in one week for trying to take the time to actually go about and answer them properly. Maybe next time I should just randomly pick answers and hope for the best.

Maybe I need to give up work. It just doesn't seem worth it. I take 2-3 hours out of my night (which, granted, isn't much) away from study, to stand around in the kitchen of the pub, and serve maybe 3-4 people a night, more when we occasionally have a party. My time would be much better spent if I stayed at home and studied. (Clearly I need it if I can't get my assessments in on time).

But, then there's the money thing. My fitness registration has expired and I need to renew it. I don't have to be registered, but it looks better for me if I am. So there's a few hundred dollars. Plus my insurance which is another few hundred. And I need some new equipment (I only have limited stuff and I'm running out of ideas for them) which isn't cheap, even for a set of dumbbells. Not to mention that I bought a new car. And my computer is having issues so I will either need it fixed (again!) or a new one which is a thousand or more dollars. And I'm barely making $300 a week!

Then there's the friend thing. I'm lonely in this town. I know it's partly my own doing, I've painted myself into a corner with going back to study. I'm stuck until at least the end of the year. Even longer if I pass this year, but can't get work in the industry. Where am I going to find a job that gives me time to study, time off for res school, but still gives me enough hours (and enough money) to survive in a city where I have to pay huge rent, and food etc? I'm happy to change to part time study if I can get a job in the physiology industry. If I can get a job as a PT in a physiology studio, that would be ideal. I'd be able to study part time (making my degree take longer, but that's ok), get the experience under a physiologist, be working doing something I love to do, and I'd be out of this GOD DAMNED TOWN!!!!

I'm so very lonely. I see about 6-8 people on a regular basis. Only 1 of whom I get to choose to see. There's my parent's (who still treat me like I'm 5... example, my dad worrying if I'm gonna get up to go to work at 4.30am. I've never slept in through my alarm in the 11 years I've been doing early starts, I don't know why I would start now), my sister (who, even though she moved out with her boyfriend still spends most days here, so I don't actually get any alone time because she won't fork out the money to get the internet connected to her house) and her boyfriend, my 2 PT clients, the people at work, and sometimes M. M is the only one I actually choose to see. That doesn't mean that I don't love my sister or my parents, because I do, but I need to be independent!!!

And really, M is the only friend I have here. There are a few people I went to school with who are still here, but they're busy with boyfriends/husbands/partners/kids etc. Not really my scene when I'm single. Most of the other people I know here, I don't want anything to do with. So many of them think so highly of themselves because they're working in the mines bringing in $100'000+ a year and they think they're king shit! And they're not. They're so closed minded and I hate it. I had a conversation with a guy at work the other week. He was almost disgusted that I was studying. He'd rather 'live life than read about it in books'. I wiped the smug grin off his face when I told him I'd been to Japan, the USA twice, Fiji, and Canada. He didn't have anything to say about that, but then he ignored me and went to talk to one of my co-workers.

I'm ready for a partner. I've been single for 5 years. I want someone to come home to. Someone to curl up on the couch with, and watch crappy movies. Someone who will listen to me when I talk, not just make noises but not really take in anything I'm saying. I want someone to cook with, and go on dates with and do things with. I want someone to make me feel special and loved. I want to be able to come and go as I please, eat what I want, when I want. I want a house to decorate and do up as I want (within reason).

My mum's talking about what to get me for my birthday in a few weeks, but everything I want isn't practical while ever I'm living at home. I'd like a big proper juicer, and blender, a good set of knives and pots and pans. But I can't have any of that while I'm home because we have nowhere to put it. I'd like some PT stuff (some ropes etc) but they're too expensive to ask someone to buy them for me.

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Ok, so I wrote that the other day, and then time got away from me. I still feel like that, I really do, but I feel a little better. I had a minor breakdown (happens every so often) and I got it all out to mum, and she was (mostly) understanding. My sister, not so much, but that's a whole other story.

I went to the movies with M on Saturday night. We saw Oblivion. It wasn't too bad, but it was pretty predictable. It was pretty good for me considering I don't really even like Tom Cruise, and he was basically the only one in it, with a few other people flitting in and out.

I head to res school tomorrow and I feel so far behind the 8 ball. Hopefully, once I get to the place we're staying at (after a detour to the uni to get my lab coat and my ID card), I can just sit in a corner somewhere and work on my pre-prac questions. And, hopefully someone can help me out if I get stuck, which I probably will.

But, there's nothing I can do about it right this second. I have to be up in 5 hours and take a PT session. Then I'll come home, nap for a few hours, pack, then head off to Armidale. I haven't been in a few years, so it'll be interesting to see what's changed and what hasn't. Especially the uni.

Wish me luck. I'll try and update while I'm there. Maybe on Sat night (last day of Chem, night before Bio starts).

Cya soon

D

Lots of New Stuff

Hey guys!!! What's been happening in blog-land? Soo sorry for the lack of updates. Life, as usual, has been really busy. Between work, PT sessions and uni, and a few weekend where I've been driving or flying all over the country, I feel like I'm running myself all over the place.

Firstly, how was everyone's Easter? I hope you all had a great long weekend, and even if you don't celebrate Easter, I hope you enjoyed the time off with friends and family. My Easter was a bit hectic. Easter Thursday was hectic with car troubles (will expand on this later), and working both lunch and evening shifts, uni work etc. Then on Good Friday I was woken up early to my mum telling me that we were going to my grandmother's for the night. Dad was heading to Stockton on the train early Saturday morning, so mum and I headed to Gran's on Friday for the day/night. It was nice to spend the day/night with her. I made her a Rocky Road (but I forgot the Malteasers!!!). She hasn't been well, and she hasn't been eating a lot, so I was hoping that this might help her eat a little more. She has currently eaten most of it, so I'm counting that as a win.

Then on Saturday we got up early and sat around in the sun eating breakfast and chatting. Before we knew it, it was heading to lunchtime and mum and I had to be on the road. We headed back home, threw some clothes into a bag (and my study stuff for me), and then headed to Stockton. We had a cabin at the caravan park, and it was right at the path to the beach.We stayed until Monday. I do love it there. Mum and I walked along the beach on Sunday afternoon. There was so much shit on the beach, washed up from the recent storms. I don't have any pictures from the weekend, unfortunately though.

The weekend before that (the 23rd) I headed to Melbourne to catch up with some of the people from Contiki, many of whom I haven't seen since we got back. It was so nice to catch up with Charlotte and Jane. I shared a room with Charlotte for the tour, and I really miss her (she's from England). The weekend was kind of a bust, due to a disagreement with one of the girls when I didn't find anything I like in the stores we went shopping in on the Saturday, that kinda continued on til now but that's ok. I had a mostly good time. And it was nice to catch up with Penny (my bus buddy). We hadn't met before the tour, but we sat together practically the whole time we were on the trip, and became great mates. It just sucks that she's in Melbourne. But that means that I have an excuse to go down regularly. I actually have a few friends in Melbourne now.

The Wednesday before I flew to Melbourne, Charlotte and Jane came up to my area to see the dolphins and do a winery tour. I met them for breakfast on one of the days. It was really great to catch up and chat without everyone vying for the attention for everyone else (which happens when there's a group of 10 or more of us).

Jane and Charlotte

The red velvet cupcake, chocolate frog and chocolate spoon I bought after breakfast in a cafe on the Saturday. They were so yummy and I loved the spoon.

Drinks before our flight

My HRM is now back and working!!! I actually had to take it to the shoe repair/watch repairman and have him put a new one in because I couldn't get the back off it to replace the battery. I know the guy who runs it (I used to work for him) so he only charged me $5 for it. The battery probably cost more than that, but who am I to argue with him. Now I just need to get my butt moving again. I've been really lazy for the last 2 weeks. But the gym at the uni id open over Res School, so I'll try to get there while I'm in Armidale.

This weekend I had one of my best uni girlfriends come to visit on Saturday and I loved it. Nat and I are so different in the way we dress, and some the the ways we think (politics in particular) but she's one of my best and closest friends. We've been friends since our second year of uni (almost 8 years ago) and she's been there through a lot of things. It's always nice to catch up with her. She only lives 2 hours away, but we never get to see each other. She works Mon-Fri, and I work weekends. It makes it hard to catch up but we do when we can. There are so many people I really need to catch up with. I want to make this year the year I meet up with people who mean a lot to me.

Res school starts next week, the 17th of April actually. I'm kinda looking forward to it... meeting people doing my courses and degree, meeting my lecturers and actually being able to ask questions about anything that I don't understand, being able to discuss things with people who actually understand it. I really like my uni. I like everything about it. The open space, the amazing gym and fitness area, the amazing lecturers, and the people who are there. I met a lot of amazing people while I lived on campus for my first degree, and I'm sure I'll meet many more amazing people who are doing my degree/classes online. It'll also be nice to have almost 2 weeks where I can just focus on uni, and study. No work, no PT sessions. Just uni, study and understanding anything I don't at the moment. I have actually just received an email from my math lecturer asking if those of us doing res school would like some tutorials. I think she read my mind (and a few other's of us) because I was actually going to email her and ask if I could get some help. I'm really struggling with math at the moment, so I'm so grateful that Bea is offering these tutorials, especially as math doesn't have a res school component, only bio and chemistry.

I bought a new car last week!!! I was going to buy one later, like June/July in the end of financial year sales, but my old car made the decision to bring the date forward. On the 28th of March (I remember vividly because it was a Thursday) I was on my way to a PT session at 5am. I got halfway there when my car started losing power, and revved really high. I kinda managed to pull over (half off the road half in the lane) and put my hazard light on before it started smoking. So I grabbed my bag and practically jumped from the car. So, I'm standing on the side of the highway, in the dark (thank god for a fog free, full moon night), waiting for my dad to come and get me (and the NRMA to come look at my car), and not a single person stopped to see if I was ok!!!! I was a little pissed, but whatever.

So it turns out that it blew a hole in my water pipe. And it fried the engine. And the engine would cost to much to replace than the car was worth :(

Sitting on the side of the road with my car waiting for a tow

So I left my car sitting on the side of the road (it was towed a little further up the road to a place where it was actually OFF the road). I called a few car places to see what they had for test drives and prices, and decided I wanted to look at a Honda City, or a Holden (Chevy for my Nth Americans) Cruise. I went via the Holden place in town on my way to strip my car, and spotted a green Cruise and instantly fell in love with it. After a test drive later in the afternoon, I was pretty sure that I wanted it, but I really wanted to test drive the City too. On Monday (after a weekend spent at the beach in Stockton, and a day looking at cars I'd rather forget), I drove the City and really, really liked it.

In the end I decided on...........

THE CRUISE!!!!!

Isn't it pretty!!!

 I love it. It's a 2011 model, only about 16-17 months old, and so much nicer than my old car (my old one was a '98 model; nearly 15 years old, so there's a lot of improvements). It is going to have to be cleaned every week because the colour shows up every bit of dirt, but I love it. And I love that the floor mats are stuck to the floor so they don't end up scrunched up under my feet. I had that so often with other car mats (I went through 3-4 sets) that I ended up driving without them. So that's a nice bonus.

And it has cup holders!!!! I know that doesn't seem like a major thing, but my other car didn't have any and it's not until you don't have them that you realise how much you need them.

So, now I'm in even more debt, but that's ok. I needed it, and was planning on buying a new one anyway :D

M and I went to the movies yesterday!!! We saw The Croods!!!

I loved it. It was such a fun movie, great for kids and adults. I love Belt, it has some of the best parts of the whole movie.

Dun Dun Duuuuuun!!!

Haha. I love it. There's so many great characters, and the interactions between them. I was worried it would be one of those movies where all the funny stuff is in the trailer, but it's not. it really is a great movie. I love, love, love it!

But them I'm a big kid at heart, which I'm sure doesn't surprise you. The woman who served us at the counter actually knew which movie we were going to see. We didn't have to ask. I'm not sure if it's because she knew what was on, or if we've been so often she just knows what we're going to see now before we do? Could be either honestly.

After the movie, we went shopping. I know, you're all surprised. Actually I have a gift card for Jeans West I needed to start spending, (I got it for Christmas), and M wanted to see what Just Jeans had in stock, so off we went to the shopping centre.

I got a pair of khaki skinny jeans (I'm in love) and a green and black stripped rugby shirt. It's so light, but it will need to be hand washed (didn't think of that when I bought it). I've been looking at coloured denim for a while but didn't want to jump in the deep end and buy bright blue, green, purple, red or something like that. I saw these and just went... 'I have to have these!'. So I bought them.

Pretty bad pic, but you get the idea

My dad finally got his jukebox yesterday. He saw it in a catalogue just after Christmas, and he's been bugging everyone about it ever since. He was convinced it wasn't coming, but yesterday it was delivered. You'd think he was a big kid with the best, newest toy the way he was acting with it. Pushing every button, making the lights change colour, turning the volume all the way up. It was actually nice to see because there really aren't a lot of things he asks for.

I booked in to try to do my scuba dive course again. It's the 1st and 2nd of May, a few days before the color run. I'm hesitant to try it again. I hope that I can actually do it this time. Hopefully, being the middle of the week, there won't be a lot of others, so they can spend time with me if I freak out again. Fingers crossed that I don't, and I can do this. *positive thinking

I need to get back to the study, and clean my room. It kinda looks like a bomb went off. oops. Math due yesterday, but I'll hand it in today. It'll be fine. I'm just struggling a little bit.

Cya soon blog-land. Hope you're week is off to an amazing start!!!

D!