Shopping, Shopping, Shopping

Ok, so I spent more money. And I know I shouldn't have, but everything had sales. I did restrain myself though. I didn't buy more clothes. Just 2 pairs of shoes. And a handbag. But I needed them all. I did, I promise.

How pretty is this? I love the colour. It's more bright green than the blue in person, but still... I love it. It's big enough that I can put everything in it. My umbrella (I bought it last week when it was raining and I went house looking. It's an essential that never leaves my bag now), a water bottle, wallet, sunglasses case, notebook and pen, my Kindle. Almost anything else I can think of. It's great. AND... it come with an extra strap to make it a cross body bag too. I love versatile items. And I think the colour just makes it pop. I've been wearing a lot of plain colours lately; black, blues, white etc. This just give my look that bit of colour it was missing. I'm in love haha

Don't you just love these? I've never really been into the whole ballet flat thing. Every pair I've tried on only came about halfway up my toes, and looked terrible. I just never got the feel for them.

These on the other hand? They're comfy, and have a solid sole so I don't feel like I'm walking on the ground instead of in a pair of shoes. I really needed a pair of flats that weren't sneakers, thongs (flip flops) or my boots, as much as I love, and live in, all 3. These fit the bill perfectly. Now to get a new outfit to wear them with. Oh I know I can wear them with anything, and I will, but a new outfit never goes astray either.

How gorgeous are these? Out of all the heels I've owned, I've never owned a pair of red pumps. Never. I mean, I have a pair of red strappy heels that I love, but these... I'm in love. Again.

I needed a size 10 though. I have big feet. Well, kinda. Usually I run somewhere between an 8 and a 9, depending on the shoe and designer, and height of the heel. I have wide balls of my feet which makes getting into sky high heels difficult. So, along with the shoes, I had to buy insoles and heel grips so that I don't walk out of them. They're maybe 1 cm too long, but that is all fixed with the insoles and heel grips. Yay. Although I guess being 5'8 comes with the side effect of having big feet. 

I will definitely need a new outfit to wear these with. I mean, I have black pants and skirts and dresses to wear with these for a pop of colour, but I think I might need something else too.

But, no buying any new outfits until I have a job. My money is slowly but surely running out. Damn this whole needing to eat to stay alive thing. Everything would be so much simpler if I didn't have to eat. 

But, eating at home will be cheaper than eating at the hostel. I've been living on pasta's and rice and the like. Too much carby goodness. When I move into the house I'm going to go back to not having carbs after lunch (like bread, rice, pasta and potatoes). I did this while I was getting my PT qualifications and I felt so much better. I lost weight too, but I didn't have a scale so I don't know how much. Just feeling better was a positive in and of itself.

I talked to my mum today. On Skype. It's hilarious. My mum is so not technical at all. I mean, seriously. She messages me when she can't get something to work on her phone, her laptop, the internet. ANYTHING!!! It's something I hope never changes because it's something uniquely her. She is a bank manager, a mum of 2, my life coach, best friend, go to person for advice on anything, but she can't work technology. Give her a new phone and she has trouble working it out.

Today, she had trouble with Skype. So, we're chatting on Facebook, and she's asking me questions, while she's downloading Skype. Then it won't work. So she's asking me what she did wrong. Um... I don't know, I wasn't there while you did it. Well, I was, but on the other side of the world. Haha. So she uninstalled it, re installed it, and away we were.

We chatted for over half an hour. She was in her PJ's with the morning program on tv, having breakfast, and I was in the dinning hall, munching on an afternoon snack. It was great to catch up, even if she did leave me watching tv while she went to the bathroom. Literally, she picked up the laptop, and turned it until I could see the TV. I couldn't understand it though haha.

She actually stood up to my grandmother for me on Wednesday (her Thursday). She was on her way to Sydney for an awards ceremony thingy that she was nominated for (she didn't win, but still), and she was on the phone to my grandmother. Now I love Gran, I really do, but she just rubs me the wrong way sometimes. She's never let me live it down that I didn't finish my Law degree. She always make little comments about it, even though I finished my Arts degree with a psychology major. 

My cousin was doing a course for his job (he works in the underground coal mines), and he failed the course. He has an easy way out though, he can pay $100 or so and just re-sit the exam. So, mum used the opportunity to ask her about me and my law degree. Turns out Gran thought that I could just re-sit the exam, and I had just quit. She didn't realise that I actually had to redo the whole unit and pay $1000 to do it. And that, without that unit, I couldn't finish my degree. Now I attempted that unit twice in the same year (it's offered both semesters), and failed it both times. Because I failed the assignment that stipulated 'pass this or fail the course'. Now, I passed overall. I kicked ass in my practical where we had to stand up in court and argue a case in front of 3 professors including our lecturer. But, I failed, (by 1 and 2 marks each time) the assignment. So I failed overall. And there's only so many times in a row I can fail like that before my pride kicks in and says enough. 

Apparently she didn't know that. And, like mum says, I didn't advertise it. It's not something that sits well with me. Yes, I've failed before, but I've always been able to just dust myself off, and smash it the next time. But not this course. But, like I told mum, she never asked either. She just assumed. She does that a lot. And ok, she'll be 72 in October, but she could still ask occasionally, instead of just thinking the worst. 

So, I love my mum for doing that. And she bought it up, not Gran. 

My sister and dad before I left for Canada

My sister is bringing her boyfriend home next weekend to meet mum and dad. She got into school the next town over from home to do her prac teaching (she's studying history and English), and he wants to be able to come visit her while she's home, (prac goes for a few weeks), which I think is nice. So, he's coming with Holly next week to meet the parents. 

He seems to be good to her, which is better than the boyfriend from last year. He was an asshole, to put it mildly. He treats her well, gives her flowers, calls her when she's not there. All the sappy stuff it should be. Too bad I'm missing out on interrogating him though. Could have been fun. 

I'll have to take some photos of Vancouver. I've been here 2 weeks and haven't taken a single photo, other than of stuff I've bought. Will have to rectify that this weekend/week. If I'm not doing anything (eg still don't have a job), I will have no excuse. And it's not like my camera doesn't live in my bag anyway.

Gotta run

D xo

Job Hunting Sucks

Well it does. I've sent out dozens of resumes and cover letters over the last 2 weeks and nothing. Nada. Zip.  And I know 2 weeks isn't a long time to be job hunting. And I know people who have worked over here and it took them a month to find work but I WANT A JOB NOW!!!!

Ok, now that I've got that out I feel better. 

A little.

I just want to be paid. I hate dipping into my savings all the time just to buy stuff. And I want to be able to afford to go to a gym, or kickboxing, or dance, or yoga, or all 4, but I don't think I'll be able to do that, even once I get a job. My rent is $150 a week, so to be able to pay that, and eat, and still have some money, I'll need to work about 40 hours a week.

So... 

Good food it is. 

I went looking on Robson St yesterday. Not for anything in particular, just to get out of the Hostel, and into the sunshine. (Yes, the sun was out, it was magnificent.)I found lots of shoes I'd love to buy (I'm loving all the colour that's out at the moment), but (and you'll be very proud of me), I didn't buy a single pair. Even with so many pretty things on sale.

So, I was in a good mood. The sun was out, the shops had sales, I was happy looking. All was good.

Then I went into American Eagle. I love this place. I don't know why, I really don't. I found it when I lived in South Lake Tahoe (I shopped in San Francisco). And they had a sale on as well. (I think just about every store does atm). So I wanted a pair of shorts. Not short shorts, just shorts. Plain, denim shorts. And maybe a few shirts. A pair of 3/4 jeans. The usual. So I found a few things I liked. And then I headed into the dressing room.

BAD IDEA!!!!!

I knew I have put on weight since I got here. I haven't been eating that well and I haven't really exercised. I mean, I've been doing some walking around, and taking the stairs instead of the elevator, but I haven't done some serious exercise since before I left home.

So, I pulled on a one shoulder shirt. I like it. I bought it. Now I'll wear it when I lose a couple of kgs. I don't need to lose a lot, it fits as is, but it will look a lot better when I lose a little bit. 

Then I pulled on the shorts. In a size 12. AND THEY DIDN'T FIT!!! Could barely pull them up past my thighs. I think they were laughing at me as I contemplated the zip and button. There was no way I was going to get those shorts done up, and if I did I better not move. Not even breathe. So I took them off and 'threw' (as in hung them back on the hanger, and then slammed the hanger on the hook). 

I was annoyed with myself by this point, so I grudgingly tried on the 3/4 jeans. They're boyfriend, so they're supposed to be baggy. The 12's fit. In fact they were a little loose. So I tried on the 10's. They fit too. Cue a little bit of smiling. Until I looked at myself in the mirror. The pants only emphasized (to me) how much weight I have to lose. Baggy jeans look good on thin girls. On me... not so much.

But I bought them. And I'm wearing them as I type this. They are comfortable, which is what I need right now. But, they did highlight that I've let my eating get out of hand again. And that I need to exercise more. So I guess that's a good thing? Right?

So, as I sit here, typing this, and looking at more job vacancies, and sending resumes (I can multi task) I am eating baby (organic) carrots (from this fruit and veggie market on Davie St that I love), and some strawberries. My bottle of water is sitting beside my laptop. (I may use the laptop cord to strangle the guys who are yelling and laughing at the top of their voices like they're in a noisy pub, not a quiet dinning room). 

And, I've been making lists too. Goals lists if you will. Goals for the month of July. Goals for the next 6 months. Plans for if I stay, and plans for if I don't. I am nothing of not organised. 

I just hope that once I move into my house on Sunday things will settle down. I can buy food without the worry of eating it (someone took my cheese, and the leftovers of mine and Min's pizza from Monday), and I can start to exercise. I'm already planning running/walking routes and I've been looking at gyms, yoga studios, kickboxing classes, and dance studios to see what's around, and how much it'll cost. 

Good thing I don't like to party. Hopefully I'll get a job soon and meet people. I'm kinda lonely here at the moment. I miss everyone. 

Going to have an early dinner in a minute. Need a break from looking at the screen. 

xo

Canada.... I'm heeerrreee!!!

Yep, you read that right. After all my 'careful' planning, you know, having no job, no place to stay etc I'm finally in Vancouver. After all the years of wanting to get here, here I am.

I've been here a week, and I'm in 2 minds about it. When I first got here, and the first 3 days where I had a friend here with me, I was all smiles, and bouncing with excitement. I'd been dreaming of this day since I was about 13, and realised that people other than movie stars could actually live and work in another country. Most of the time the sun was out, it was still a little chilly, but ok, and I had a new city to explore.

But then Jamie went home. And I moved into the youth hostel instead of our 4 star hotel in Coal Harbour. And the day I moved was overcast. And kinda cold. And it's supposed to be summer. And no one was overly chatty in the hostel. So I was a bit down that day. And the next day. I was telling myself that I'd give myself a month to find work, and if I had nothing I'd go home. I was missing my friends and my family.

I think this was compounded because my parents had been in Europe for the 6 weeks before I flew out, and had only been home for a few days before I left, (they got home Monday afternoon, I flew out Friday morning), so it feels like a lot longer than the 10/11 (depending on the timezone) days since I last saw them.

The rain isn't helping either. I never really got it when people talked about S.A.D. I mean, I got it on an intellectual and psychological level, but until I was in a place where the sun doesn't come out for days at a time, I never really understood it. I get it now. Aussies are lucky. We get so much sun a year. We've come to take it for granted. So I think the overcast weather was throwing a wrench in my mood too.

I know, once I have a job and I'm settled things will be better, but having nothing to do all day every day is a little draining. I know, I know. You're wondering how doing nothing can be draining. Well, you know how having one or 2 days off where you have nothing to do but watch movies, and listen to your music, read, take a bath etc.. those are really good. Really nice. I love those days. Where I can sleep in, lounge around all day in my pj's and do basically nothing. Really I do. But I gave up work the beginning of May, so it's now been about 6 weeks since I've had a real reason to get up of a morning. Not to say that I loved my job, I didn't. I really didn't. But I miss having something to do. I miss knowing that for a certain period of time that day, I would be doing something. I mean, yes, I packed. And repacked. And repacked some more. Much to M's amusement. I couldn't cut my wardrobe down to only 23kg. And when I got to the airport, I had to take some out because it weighed 24.6kg. Argh!

I wish my packing looked like this.

Or this.

But it was exactly like this

And this

And I went out to dinner and lunch a few times. Had friends over for sleepover weekends. And saw movies. And had girly days on my own where I pampered myself. And visited my grandmother. But I got bored. Very quickly. 

I'm not sure if I've mentioned it before, but it's worth rehashing. I don't do well with inactivity. At all. Nope. Not one little bit.

Yep, that is me. Exactly. Bouncing around everywhere. My mum still calls me Tigger sometimes because I can't sit still.

So all this inactivity sitting in a Youth Hostel in Vancouver is doing my head in a little bit. I've kinda explored around here. I've done a hop on hop off bus tour, and seen the city. Or at least, Downtown. The city isn't the easiest place to get around if you don't know where you're going, and I'm struggling to make sense of the bus timetable. I'll get it.

Anyway, I haven't just been sitting on my butt. I've been house hunting and job hunting. Exciting. *can you note the sarcasm? And, after looking through 4 places, and applying for what felt like hundreds, I have got one. It's in Kitsilano, a really nice suburb, about 10 minutes from Downtown. Ok, so it's a street out of Kistilano, it's on 17th Ave, and Kits ends in 16th, but what's a street?

I move in on the 1st July. So once I've moved in there I can start to explore that area. I've been looking for fitness places and I've already found a gym and a dance studio I think I'll like. I'll have to go and check them out. Find out how much their prices are.

Once I do that, I'm sure things will settle down again. I think part of it was that I had nothing sorted. I had the youth hostel booked until the 1st July, but nothing after that. I have no job. I had no idea what I was doing. Now that I have somewhere to stay, I feel better.

And the sun is out today.

I'm going to keep looking for the jobs, but I'm thinking of looking for bar work when I move into the house somewhere close to me. And now I have an actual address I can put on my resume, rather than the address of the youth hostel. YAY!!! Maybe that will set me apart from the 100's of others applying for jobs too.

Off to do some more job hunting. Wish me luck. And to file back my fake nails. I didn't have them infilled before I left (I only get them for special occassions) and they're growing out to the point where they annoy me.

Ciao