Job Hunting Sucks

Well it does. I've sent out dozens of resumes and cover letters over the last 2 weeks and nothing. Nada. Zip.  And I know 2 weeks isn't a long time to be job hunting. And I know people who have worked over here and it took them a month to find work but I WANT A JOB NOW!!!!

Ok, now that I've got that out I feel better. 

A little.

I just want to be paid. I hate dipping into my savings all the time just to buy stuff. And I want to be able to afford to go to a gym, or kickboxing, or dance, or yoga, or all 4, but I don't think I'll be able to do that, even once I get a job. My rent is $150 a week, so to be able to pay that, and eat, and still have some money, I'll need to work about 40 hours a week.

So... 

Good food it is. 

I went looking on Robson St yesterday. Not for anything in particular, just to get out of the Hostel, and into the sunshine. (Yes, the sun was out, it was magnificent.)I found lots of shoes I'd love to buy (I'm loving all the colour that's out at the moment), but (and you'll be very proud of me), I didn't buy a single pair. Even with so many pretty things on sale.

So, I was in a good mood. The sun was out, the shops had sales, I was happy looking. All was good.

Then I went into American Eagle. I love this place. I don't know why, I really don't. I found it when I lived in South Lake Tahoe (I shopped in San Francisco). And they had a sale on as well. (I think just about every store does atm). So I wanted a pair of shorts. Not short shorts, just shorts. Plain, denim shorts. And maybe a few shirts. A pair of 3/4 jeans. The usual. So I found a few things I liked. And then I headed into the dressing room.

BAD IDEA!!!!!

I knew I have put on weight since I got here. I haven't been eating that well and I haven't really exercised. I mean, I've been doing some walking around, and taking the stairs instead of the elevator, but I haven't done some serious exercise since before I left home.

So, I pulled on a one shoulder shirt. I like it. I bought it. Now I'll wear it when I lose a couple of kgs. I don't need to lose a lot, it fits as is, but it will look a lot better when I lose a little bit. 

Then I pulled on the shorts. In a size 12. AND THEY DIDN'T FIT!!! Could barely pull them up past my thighs. I think they were laughing at me as I contemplated the zip and button. There was no way I was going to get those shorts done up, and if I did I better not move. Not even breathe. So I took them off and 'threw' (as in hung them back on the hanger, and then slammed the hanger on the hook). 

I was annoyed with myself by this point, so I grudgingly tried on the 3/4 jeans. They're boyfriend, so they're supposed to be baggy. The 12's fit. In fact they were a little loose. So I tried on the 10's. They fit too. Cue a little bit of smiling. Until I looked at myself in the mirror. The pants only emphasized (to me) how much weight I have to lose. Baggy jeans look good on thin girls. On me... not so much.

But I bought them. And I'm wearing them as I type this. They are comfortable, which is what I need right now. But, they did highlight that I've let my eating get out of hand again. And that I need to exercise more. So I guess that's a good thing? Right?

So, as I sit here, typing this, and looking at more job vacancies, and sending resumes (I can multi task) I am eating baby (organic) carrots (from this fruit and veggie market on Davie St that I love), and some strawberries. My bottle of water is sitting beside my laptop. (I may use the laptop cord to strangle the guys who are yelling and laughing at the top of their voices like they're in a noisy pub, not a quiet dinning room). 

And, I've been making lists too. Goals lists if you will. Goals for the month of July. Goals for the next 6 months. Plans for if I stay, and plans for if I don't. I am nothing of not organised. 

I just hope that once I move into my house on Sunday things will settle down. I can buy food without the worry of eating it (someone took my cheese, and the leftovers of mine and Min's pizza from Monday), and I can start to exercise. I'm already planning running/walking routes and I've been looking at gyms, yoga studios, kickboxing classes, and dance studios to see what's around, and how much it'll cost. 

Good thing I don't like to party. Hopefully I'll get a job soon and meet people. I'm kinda lonely here at the moment. I miss everyone. 

Going to have an early dinner in a minute. Need a break from looking at the screen. 

xo