Day 26; Something I read online

I found this the other day. As a personal trainer, someone studying exercise physiology, and someone who is currently 20kg overweight, this really struck a chord with me.

Have a read and then have a think. It's one of the most straight forward articles I have read on obesity. It's not meant to sooth you like a lot of them have been recently. It doesn't make it out to be your fault harshly. It's told from the perspective of someone who deals with obesity, the risks, the outcomes, and the pressures on our health systems on a daily basis.

It really opened my eyes a little.

I can only hope it opens yours too.

Day 20: Struggle Street

Once again, I have been left with a prompt that made me think (do you sense a recurring theme yet?)

The prompt for today is to talk about something I'm struggling with.

I'm struggling with a few things at the moment, but none of them major. I mean, they're major to me, but it's not like I'm homeless, or jobless. My family isn't finding it hard to eat, or living in a cold house because we can't pay our electricity bill. We have cars that run, and money to put fuel in them. We are able to eat, and work, and do things.

So, in that regard, I'm not struggling. But at the same time I am. And with so many different things. School, family, work, money, me time, friends, independence, finding myself.

Firstly... school *sigh

I went back to university this year to study Exercise Physiology. I knew, going in, that it wouldn't be easy. I knew that I would be studying stuff I haven't done since high school. Chemistry, biology and math. I thought I'd do ok with biology, and I have been. But the exam scares me. I thought I'd be ok with chemistry because I did it in high school and have that basic knowledge to fall back on, and it's been... semi ok. My lecturer is an asshole, and the assessments are wayyyyyy too hard (much harder than the exam is supposed to be which I'm heaving a sigh of relief at), and there is just so much info to take in in 13 weeks of a semester. Math, I thought this would be hard. And it is. I thought I would really struggle with it, and I semi have been. My marks for my assessments have been great, but come the exam, I'm really not sure how well I'll do. Again, so much info to take in in just 13 weeks.

I spent a lot of my time initially focusing on math because I thought it would be the one I would struggle the most with, to the detriment of chemistry. I then spent a lot of time on both math and chem, to the detriment of biology, because I thought that would be the easiest of the 3 courses. And it is, but there is still a lot to take in.

My exams start on the 4th of June (2 weeks), and I still have 4 assessments due before then. Somehow I have to find time to do 4 assessments, and study for 3 exams. And eat and sleep and go to work.

All of which leads me into my work/school/life balance that is practically non existent.

I am working on this, I really am. I just have a tendency to focus on one thing at a time, and can't seem to evenly spread myself, or my time around. I find that I get into a rhythm (as most people do, I think), and once that rhythm is broken, be it because I have to go to work, or the phone rings, or some other distraction happens, I just can't get back into it. So, I go off and do something else, and usually study gets put on the back burner. I really need to work on being more time conscious, and learn a bit more time management (which I'm working on), get a little more of a life-work-study balance (which I think will come later in they year when M and I move out, more on this later), and work on being more 'in the moment'. That's definitely something else I struggle with.

My independence is a struggle because I'm back home living with my parents and when I come home it's like I'm suddenly a 5 year old. I'm sure most people who have moved back home struggle with this, but it is getting better. My mum definitely doesn't treat me like a 5 year old, that's more my dad, but I'm dealing. We have had a few major arguments about it, but that's par for the course.

Work!!! I hate it. I hate the job, the people annoy me, and I'm barely making any money. I'm working in the kitchen of a pub (I'm sure I've said that before) and it's ok because it gets me out of the house, but I asked for more hours because I need the money. I asked to do a few hours behind that bar, something different, and was told by the publican that yes, I can do some hours behind the bar. Then he hired 3 other people for the bar. One of which is a friend to his daughter (the cook), one who was supposed to be in the kitchen with Alix and I, and one other girl to do a few fill in hours. It pissed me off. Especially when they all complain about the girl who was supposed to be in the kitchen, then give me her kitchen hours because she can't do them anymore, then leave me in the kitchen to cook/clean/wash up/do floors etc, so that Alix can be behind the bar during lunchtime, because he won't pay someone to do 2 hours for the lunch shift so she can be in the kitchen and cook!!! And the money isn't great either. If I was earning decent money I wouldn't complain so much, but I'm not. It definitely sucks. Then to realise that my sister (who has moved out with her boyfriend) is still having mum and dad pay her phone bill etc while I have to pay my own is something else I struggle with. I have been working since I was 15. I have paid my way through uni (mum and dad paid accommodation but I paid everything else), paid for everything every time I went overseas, am paying for my new car, my phone etc. The only thing mum and dad pay for is food, of which I barely eat anyway because I'm not here for dinner. It really pisses me off. My sister gave up her job her first year of uni and hasn't worked since, and I've worked right through for 11 years (minus the 6 months I didn't work when I went to Canada). I struggle with that. I struggle to understand how she was allowed to move out when she's still not paying her phone bill. i struggle to understand how she was allowed to move out when she isn't working. Ok, so her boyfriend's got a job, and she's at uni, but she could still get a job for a few hours a week! 3 days a week packing shelves at the supermarket for a few hours maybe? But no, she doesn't want to, and mum hasn't made her. I understand she's studying, but so am I!

Ok, rant over. I really can't think about money and my sister because it pisses me off too much.

I guess, really, I only struggle with the everyday problems a lot of us face. I definitely have little to complain about when it comes to my life and my struggles.

Thanks for another great prompt :D

Day 14: Things that make me Happy!!!

Animals!!!

All animals but really, baby, fluffy animals. (Insert kitten and husky pictures, puppies, tigers etc)

I don’t have an animal at the moment (and I hate it), but I’m still living with my parents and I really can’t have one. Hoping to move out to a place of my own (and a friend) at the end of the year, so maybe I’ll get a kitten then. Not a puppy, as much as I want one. It’s not fair to put a big dog in an apartment/small house etc. And because I’ll  be renting, I probably wouldn’t be allowed to have a dog anyway.

Travel!!!

I love it! There’s something incredibly freeing about being a stranger in an unknown city. You’re free to reinvent yourself if you want to/need to. I love it. And I love doing it, both with friends and on my own. I love soaking up the history, the feeling, the atmosphere, everything about it. The food, the people, the things to do and see. I could wax poetically about it all night, but I really wasn’t good with poetry.

Music

I love music too. I used to play flute in a marching band, and I still play occassionally, but unfortunately that has fallen to the wayside a little lately, but I still have music going as much as I can.. in the car, on my ipod/phone, at the gym, when I study etc. You name it, I more than likely have music going. It's even my tattoo :D

Exercise

I grew up playing sport, and it's followed me into adulthood. There's something about a group sport, or a group fitness class, or a good long run, or a dance class, gymnastics etc, that just makes my heart race, my face break out into a huge smile, and my body pump with joy. I absolutely love it

Movie days

Whether it's going to the actual movies, or staying at home with friends and miles of junk food, there's something about the movies that makes me happy. I don't know if it's the movie itself, the zoning out part, the mix of emotions that movies send you through, the friends I have these days with or something else, but these days are always amazing, and so much fun.

Fresh flowers

I love fresh flowers, especially when you're not expecting them. In particular I love lilies. Even if I have to buy my own, I love having fresh flowers in the house.

Sunny Days

Who doesn't love sunny days? The warmth in the sun, the smell in the air, the long days, the outside activities... I love everything about them 

The water

There's something so incredibly calming about the water, whether it be a river, lake, dam, or the beach. I love being in it, walking beside it, sitting near it reading a book, lazing on the beach, having a picnic near the lake or river. After getting my scuba diving qualifications I am now even more in love with it.

A good book

I always have a book (or 2 or 3 or 100) in the process of being read. I'll read almost anything from fact to fiction, horror to romance, teenage/young adult to the current best seller. Almost anything catches my attention. I love Stephen King, and I love ancient mysteries. I especially love curling up in winter with a book, a blanket, a cup of tea or Milo, and the fire. Best way to have a lazy day, or to end a day.

Rainstorms

I love the smell of rain in the air before it hits, the sound of it on an old tin roof, the thunder and watching the lightning roll in. I love the clean smell after it's gone. I can sit and watch them for hours, and there's no better way to sleep than to the sound of rain on the roof. 

Day 4... Favourite Quote

Asking me to pick a favourite quote is like asking me to pick a favourite book, or song, or movie. It changes on a daily basis.

So, being that I couldn't pick just one, I thought I'd show you a few of my favourites. I have sooo many more on my pinterest board here. Feel free to have a look, take a few if you wish. I'm a little addicted to pinterest, although I'm learning to spend only 1 hour at a time on it, rather than a day at a time :D It's a slow process.

So, here they are, some of my favourite quotes of the moment, and why I love them:

I love Rascal Flatts, and I love this song. It just makes me feel amazing.

Someone once told me that you are scared of things, because they mean so much to you that you don't want to fail, and once I thought about it, it made sense. So for this, to me, if something scares you, you clearly care about it/want it etc. So, if you care that much, you should be trying it. Live your life with things you want.

I love this. It reminds me that what we see is what other people want us to see. Even those who appear to have perfect lives have things going on in the background that we can't see. They aren't perfect, no matter what we are led to believe, and that's ok, because neither are we.

I really struggled for a while with the whole 'you can do anything and everything you want' way that most of my generation have been told growing up. It's taken me some time to realise that, yes, we can do anything we want, but we can't have everything at the same time, and that we can't do everything either. There will always be something we can't do.

Pretty self explanatory really. We are all good at something. Just because we aren't good at what someone else is, or at something we want to be good at, doesn't mean we aren't as smart as the next person. We're just smart at different things.

I think this struck a chord with me because we are talking about my 10 yr high school reunion next year, and there are days where I feel I haven't achieved anything. When I look back at the way I though my life would pan out by the time I was 27/28, it hasn't gone that way at all. But, that's ok. It's only when I look at what I think I should have done that I get upset at what I have or think I haven't achieved. It's all perspective.

At least, you find a new way of seeing things when you get there. I always have a destination in mine e.g. Vancouver, LA, Rome, Athens, but all that changes everytime I go somewhere and experience living in another country. It's amazing. And I always come home with a new perspective.

This!!! This basically describes me, and my drive, desire and passion for travel. There is so much of the world to see and explore, and be a part of, that I don't want to miss anything. I want to experience it all.

Pretty self explanatory. Sometimes we all need a day where we do nothing. Just a time out to sit, and breathe, and remember who we are, what we want out of life, and how we're going to make it happen

Again, self explanatory :D

I love Harry Potter. So much wisdom in these pages :D

And a few more I couldn't leave out. These just speak to me.

One last one, although it doesn't really apply to me because I live in Australia but I love it anyway

Day 3: Uncomfy

The blog everyday in May topic for today.... Things that make you uncomfortable...

When I first started thinking about this post, I wasn't sure there were many things that make me uncomfortable. I mean, I get mad, I get annoyed, I get embarrassed so much that I was to sink into the ground, but uncomfortable? Ummmm.....

It's more embarrassment than anything else, but then, I guess being embarrassed is uncomfortable in itself.

I guess, really, it's other people that make me uncomfortable. Not really things, or situations. It's the things people do, or say, or don't do.

One thing that makes me really uncomfortable is people talking to me when I'm trying to concentrate. Whether it's someone telling me how to drive from the backseat when I'm trying to concentrate in traffic, or my dad talking to me when I'm studying, I get really uncomfortable when I'm trying to concentrate, and someone is breaking it. It usually leads to me getting frustrated and angry and a yelling match ensuing. It usually happens with my dad.

Which leads me to being uncomfortable when people argue in front of me when it has nothing to do with me. It happens at work (the cook and the publican are daughter and father respectively), at the shopping centre, etc. If you need to have a discussion (or argue about it) do it in private. No one else needs to hear about your life, especially at the top of your voices. (I guess this comes from my dad. He has an opinion about everything and if you don't agree with him, he'll argue with you at the top of his voice, regardless of where you are. This leads me to the most embarrassing point lately, that I'll fill you in on when I get to that day.)

Which leads me to swearing. I find it repulsive. It doesn't need to be said, except in certain circumstances. I swore when I t-boned a woman who did a u-turn in the middle of the highway without looking. I may swear a little if I kick my toe on something and it hurts a lot. But not every sentence needs to be filled with f***, or sh*t, ot c*** (this one is heard a lot in my town and I think it's an absolutely vile term). There is no need to do it, especially when there are other people in hearing range.

Drunks make me uncomfortable. Not all kinds of drunks, just a few. The sleazy old men who come onto us when we leave work of a night. The men and women who fight outside clubs and pubs every weekend and are splashed all over the news. The ones who get so smashed they can't see straight, who throw up all over themselves and the sidewalk and think it's funny. The ones who are arrested by police and are swearing at them and fighting them. I'm not sure why they think they look good, but their $200 dress, and $400 shoes don't make anyone look good when you're covered in your own vomit and are being put in the back of a cop car. It just make you an idiot.

People who make a scene in public in general I guess. Whether that be arguing in front of people, getting drunk, swearing, not wearing a shirt when you really should be etc.

Meeting new people makes me uncomfortable, but for about 30 seconds. Once I've met you, and we've started talking, my uncomfortableness (is that even a word?) goes away :D

Being asked to do things I don't want to do makes me uncomfortable, because I can't say no. If I can do something, if it is in my power to help you, and you ask? 9.999/10 times I'll say yes. Usually tot he detriment of what I was planning to do, because I put it off. This has come back to bite me in the butt soooo many times because most of the people I help don't reciprocate. I am getting better at saying no though :D

There are probably more, but that's all I can think of right now. Probably a good thing.